June 23

St Etheldreda’s Day Today is St Etheldreda’s Day. The day that the Church remembers a holy Abbess in Ely, Cambridgeshire. It is the day I remember a friend of mine called Etheldreda. And remember that I have forgotten to send a card to her – I’ll have to do that later this afternoon. Hospital Clinic Last month when I was given the date for today’s appointment I mentioned that it was St Etheldreda’s day and the doctor looked at me a bit funny. I’m rather good with dates – name a day and I’ll probably be able to know what … Continue reading June 23

June 21

It’s June 21st the longest day of the year, so there is less time to cry when going to sleep tonight. Strange how that is what comes to mind. But, of course, tonight is not that sort of time for going to bed. Tonight is another fundraising night and will see me out til the early hours rattling a bucked for the local Pride festival. It’s midsummer and it’s pouring with rain here. So not the best day to go out for a nice drive or anything – and even when I get home I’ll not want to do any … Continue reading June 21

June 20

A better morning after the night before Last evening was a good night in lots of ways. First of all I had been chatting to a friend most of the evening online and this had helped cheer me up all night. Secondly, I managed to not cry myself to sleep. This morning I woke up when my mother came into the room – yup I’m staying at theirs for a bit. So there was porridge for breakfast and I’m sure there will be good wholesome food for lunch and tea. Remember, a boy’s best friend is his mother. And nothing … Continue reading June 20

June 19

It’s been a few days since I posted on here, but chatting to one mate on msn made me realise how much of a mask is still being worn by me. At night it gets taken off, and still I cry myself to sleep. I don’t know when this will stop – and i don’t know what will stop it. What I do know is that it didn’t happen when I spent the night with the fabulous new friend that I made a few months back. Hopefully there will be another cry free night soon. On Tuesday, I’ve to go … Continue reading June 19

June 11

Dating system Since I started this diary of events I have been using ‘days since diagnosis‘ as my dates. However it has come to me that this is actually turning into somewhat of a countdown (or rather count-up) to when things are worse than they are currently. For this reason, I have decided to revert to the actual date for posts from now on. There may be an alternative title on occasion but, in general, it will be the date. Life in general This morning I was awake very early. As I got up I heard the birds singing and … Continue reading June 11

Day 77

Nearly eleven weeks on. And feeling not too bad, even after the counselling ‘incident’ on Monday. I have many good friends around from all over the country and I am getting through this with their support. Yesterday and today have such good weather – I may end up taking some of the afternoon off and going out into the sun – or if not, I may just do something nice this evening. Continue reading Day 77

Day 73

Drugs The drug régime is taking its toll on me. Remembering to take the drugs is becoming more difficult as time goes on. I suspect that this is because I am feeling better and better—making me feel less and less like I need to take the drugs. However, I have not missed yet. Food Today has been very easy in the food department and tomorrow will be so again. I am staying with my parents and enjoying homecooked food once again. There really is nothing like food prepared by your mother. But tomorrow it will be back to having to … Continue reading Day 73

Day 70

It doesn’t seem possible that it is ten weeks tomorrow since I was diagnosed. On occasions it feels like it was just yesterday, yet on others it feels like I have been living with this for years. Of course, it may well be that I have been living with being HIV+ for years — but without actually knowing so. Today I volunteered with a local HIV centre as they were out on the streets trying to get funds for their much-needed work. What disheartened me was the way that some people walked past and said loudly “HIV – oh they … Continue reading Day 70