I am very pleased to say that since this post was written so much has changed for the better in my life. It is still one of my favourite posts on here as it shows just how low I could get. Incidentally, my ‘friend’ Andrew is now my husband Andrew. Thank you Andrew so much – you are a very big part in what has turned my life around. I love you so much.

HIV Blogger | living positively

Queer As Folk US logoLast night was difficult – I’m not quite sure why, but it was. I was watching the last episode of Series 1 of Queer As Folk (American version) with my friend Andrew.

Right at the end of this episode is the scene where Justin Taylor, played so excellently by Randy Harrison, ends up as the victim in a vicious homophobic attack. Justin is taken to hospital, and there is a lot of crying, not just on screen – but in the audience.

I said something then that I possibly shouldn’t have. But I’m repeating it now to see what others think.

When I go, I don’t want anyone to cry like that.

But then I ended up in bed crying my eyes out. What does that mean?

This morning thinking back, I think that it meant that I was actually worried that when I die, whenever…

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